Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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