I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You made out with two different species that night
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
