therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
