...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
