They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize