i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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