He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
being pregnant is like rehab
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
