In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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