you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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