his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
