my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
