Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
