I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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