Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
