My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize