Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
