somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You have to summon your inner elephant
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
