i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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