yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
