shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Randomize
