my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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