speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
