I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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