He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
