Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
