I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
