I smell stomach acid.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
