I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
