I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
