I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
