1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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