So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
