So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
