nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize