Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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