the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
