If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
