moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
