hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
