OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
