So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
