I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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