so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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