i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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