and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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