dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
