they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
