Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize