If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
