Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
