You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
