just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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