We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
