A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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