4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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