what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
