No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
