Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
