guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
