the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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