i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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