Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
