she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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