i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
