another moral hangover. fuck.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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