I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
